to live by

I can't believe that I'm writing a second blog entry in one day after the 10 month hiatus I have been on. Recently I have had some discussions bucket lists. I have heard all kinds of reasons for and against have them. I want you to know that I have one and I'm NOT going to share the specifics, but I was asked to share this portion with someone the other day. The first 17 items on my "bucket list" are a portion that I call "to live by". This section includes ideals that are completely feasible daily and I think will prove to be more fulfilling than any combination of bucket list items. I know you have seen some or all of them but I wanted to put them out there. Nothing too complicated; here they are:

1. Love God; Treasure the Spirit; Follow Christ.
2. Don't take yourself too seriously.
3. Don't be afraid to say no (or yes).
4. Pray about everything.
5. Make others first; you second.
6. Never lack a generous heart.
7. Be grateful in all situations.
8. Say "thank you".
9. Apologize and Forget.
10. Say "I love you".
11. See the best in people.
12. Make an impact.
13. Never stop learning.
14. Speak your feelings.
15. Hurt for the lost.
16. Do what is right not what is easy.
17. Take chances.

Your accountability starts now!!

almost ten months

of being in Baltimore and sharing with the world the ponderings of Tess. I'll try to categorize my thoughts but I apologize now for the ramblings:

realizations:

• I love my family and miss them very much
• God's people are everywhere
• Joy is a choice not a feeling
• I'm horrible at expressing my feelings; especially on the phone
• I'm more of a people pleaser that I thought. (see desires)

happenings:

• I'm living in my 3rd house in Baltimore since being here....Pigtown to Patterson Park to Upper Fells Point
• I got a full-time job at McCormick as a Sensory Analyst
• 5th roommate reunion (down-stairs only) in Baltimore!

desires:

• I want to be less of people pleaser and more of a God pleaser
• A place to serve. Not just a place that is easy but a place that I am called to and gifted for
• A "target" friend
• Have a better wine pallet
• Go hiking/biking more frequently (sub-desire - to get my tube repaired so I can bike)
• Be diligent at writing this blog
• Go sailing/take sailing lessons
• Get a tan; have buff arms; just seeing if you are still reading but really....

Would love to talk about mores; give me a call. Only two months and five days until one year in MD.

living in a new place

Baltimore is an interesting place. Here are a few things that I've learned my short time here and some answers to some frequently asked questions:

1. The people are FANTASTIC! You hear all those things about East Coast people being inconsiderate and rude, but not here in Bawlmer, Hon.

2. Which leads me to the next thing: apparently locals call this place Bawl-mer. I thought removing syllables from words was an east Texas thing but I was sorely mistaken.

3. And another east Texas reminder is calling everyone Hon - short for Honey. I haven't actually encountered this but I've heard about it. There is a restaurant and festival with the name-sake, Cafe Hon (http://www.cafehon.com/) and Hon Fest (http://www.honfest.net/). Celebrating big-hair, blue eyeshadow, and crazy accents and phrases like J'eet? (a.k.a. did you eat?). Really, Bawlmer is not much different than Texas.

4. I wish that GoogleMaps supported an avoid shady areas feature like they have an avoid toll roads feature. Luckily this has only happened during the day and while I was in a car but I have a felling I will be encountering many more shady areas before too long.

5. No, I haven't seen The Wire. But I will after I have lived here a little longer.

6. I haven't seen Duff Goldman (but really I want to meet Jeff) or Michael Phelps but I'll let you know when it happens. I plan on playing it real cool and make friends rather than ask for a picture...yeah right, I'll do both!

7. I have to make some friends so I can go try the ever increasing list of restaurants.

8. And that leads me to my last note: I'm trying a church tomorrow. It's a little further away that I had hoped but I have to start somewhere.

That's it for now. More to come.

adventures

Tomorrow marks the day in which I will start a new adventure. I'm officially moving to Baltimore. Though I don't know how long I will call Charm City my home, I'm moving. The car is packed, I have a riding buddy (one of my best friends from college, Jen), and have had the last night with my parents. We went to dinner (seafood was not such a good idea) and and movie - Julie & Julia. I guess it was fitting for the foodie that I am. It was such a blessing. I know it is weird to say that a movie about two people that I have never met was a blessing but it was. I have not laughed nor cried that much in months. I think this was mainly to do with the two main characters (I'm going to try to explain without giving away the movie...this may prove difficult). They both moved at the beginning of the movie - something I'm about the embark on. They both have friends and family that support them - people that I often take for granted. And they both want to feel like they have accomplished great in their lives - don't we all? Through adversity and commitment and challenges and pain and determination, they both overcame obstacles of worthiness (and self-doubt to do something for themselves while touching others along the way. pray that I do this as well and to not give up when it isn't in my timeline.

So, my new adventure starts tomorrow. A 10 hour drive to Nashville. Here's to many others to follow. Bon Appetite.

pepto please

Today marks exactly one month until I have scheduled to leave for Baltimore. I'm nervous as hell yet extremely excited at the same time. I know I have been at that place before but this one seems different. I'm going alone. I don't have a place to reside as of now. I haven't finished grad school. I don't know what to do anymore. I see myself doing the thing I hate the most in unfamiliar situations: shutting down. Relying on my own strength to get through it. Dragging myself along when I know will all my heart that God will gently carry me - I just can't figure out how to tell my mind that bit of news. I will continue praying that God will provide and that I will trust much better than I do....and drinking the pepto to keep the nausea at bay.

more of the same

I know, two in one hour. I can find anything to aid in my procrastination of doing just about anything. I clean, check my e-mail, Facebook, write this blog, run "errands". So here goes...

I'm trying to find a place to live come August when I move to Baltimore for a few months, be proactive if you will. By the way, if you haven't heard, I have an internship there. I know that I don't need to find anything for a while but I still can't help looking. I'm excited but nervous, too. I know it is only for 6 months but I've done very few things completely on my own. When I get nervous though, I have find something for my idol hands. I've been looking at Craigslist to get an idea for housing while there which makes me almost hyperventilate. Why would anyone enjoy searching for things on that website?

So, the control freak stops looking at Craigslist; gives life back to the procrastinator. The vicious cycle continues.

control freak

It's official. I'm finally admitting to being a control freak to the whole world but more importantly, to myself. I came to this understanding while in Colorado for a wedding. I love these two so much and I'm so happy that I got to spend the day with them! [Warning: if you were there, you might not want to read the following!]

However, the days after were not such a good time for me. Having the back-drop of CO helped. But, where no cell service meets 15+ people meets doing things together results in complete stress. I like to work on a time schedule and when others do not abide by that time scheduled, I'm not necessary the most fun to be around. Actually, I'm down-right rude, mean, and disrespectful. When we decide on leaving at 1:30, it means leaving at 1:30, not 1:33! Meeting at 9:00, means we are meeting at 9:00, not 9:20. I understand some amount of flexibility is needed in life. I'm Gumby when it comes to changing plans and doing something different. Just tell me; call me. When you are working on someone else's schedule (i.e. a wedding), you can't just show up late (well, maybe you can but you shouldn't). I guess the point in writing this entry is to say it's not you, it's me. I know that. But, please understand when I'm not happy when you show-up late. Please understand when I want you to commit to something. Please understand when I'm not enjoying myself after something above has happened.

I know I should have separated myself from the group this weekend but love being around others. I enjoy those conversations that just come up. We all have weaknesses that Christ magically works through us (Thankfully!). Just understand this is mine. Yours may be having no sense of organization. I try to be flexible with you, now will you please try to be flexible with me? This is a two way street and I'm not the only one who always has to compromise my personality to be apart of a group.